Resetting your Heirloom Diamond - and - How to Buy a Ring Setting Without Buying a Diamond

2/21/2019

Engagement Ring = Diamond + Ring Setting
Do you have a loose diamond? Do you need an engagement ring made for your heirloom diamond? Do you have a family diamond that you want reset in a new ring? Do you have a jeweler’s setting in mind for a diamond you already own? Or perhaps you want a particular stone that the jeweler can’t offer you…

Are you resetting a family diamond, redesigning an heirloom ring, or asking a jeweler to set a diamond that you found on your own? We often see a communication breakdown between shoppers and jewelers on the topic of loose settings and personal diamonds. Sometimes folks are surprised when a jeweler is hesitant or flat-out refuses to set a diamond that wasn’t purchased through them. It might seem counterintuitive for a jeweler to turn down work. Let’s clear things up. Some jewelers don't mind doing this at all! However, the reason jewelers would hesitate before resetting an heirloom diamond is different from why they would hesitate to set your sweet-internet-deal diamond. Here is some info and a few tips on the etiquette of making this request:

Let's start with the best case scenario:

You have a family stone or a handful of heirloom jewelry you want to work with to create something special and you approach a talented and caring custom engagement ring designer who is local to you! Don't get us wrong, we think reusing heirloom stones is THE BEST. (see our favorite heirloom ring-incarnations below)

That being said....

Why would a jeweler hesitate before resetting an heirloom stone?

It can be scary. There are liability risks for a jeweler to set a gemstone you already own, including loss, damage and heightened emotions...
It causes snags in a jeweler’s general process. Unless you are hand delivering the stone to the jeweler, you are going to be shipping back and forth; they will have to send you a liability waiver. That can be scary for everyone involved.
Un-setting your diamond or gem from a piece of jewelry is a lose/lose situation. It is often challenging for jeweler to unset a gemstone without injuring it. Plus, you have to consider the almost complete loss of value for the piece you are taking apart.
It may pigeon-hole the jeweler into fitting a diamond into a setting that might not really accommodate it. This is especially true for antique diamonds or gems with an outline that isn’t perfectly round or square or even.
Simply put, it is a lot of effort and they don't make a profit on it.

Though it's not always an ideal situation for them, there are jewelers who will happily perform this favor for you. It's considered acceptable to ask especially if you ask nicely. It's like asking your friend to drive you to the airport in traffic, twice. Yeah, you better be nice.

Why would a jeweler not want to set a new diamond you purchased elsewhere?

This situation can be a bit more charged for a jeweler. Almost all the other pains associated with heirloom apply here, but with the additional financial slap in the face to the jeweler.

You just stole their predicted margin. The cost of the ring includes the assumption that they will get to also sell you the star of the show, a center gem. How they see it, you are trying to get a ring for the price of a loose setting.
It comes across as rude. This is a piece of art and fine craftsmanship. You wouldn't go to Picasso and ask if you can have the painting for less if you provide the paint and canvas... y’know, cuz you have a friend who's gonna give you a screamin deal elsewhere.

Takeaway for the engagement ring shopper - what can you do?

It's ok to ask about an an actual heirloom diamond or gemstone that you've inherited or previously owned. Expect a little bit of hesitation and know that it's completely normal to sign a waver releasing the jeweler from liability for your stone.
Don't ask a jeweler to set your diamond you bought online or from a wholesaler. If you do, careful not to come across as entitled and prepare to pay a setting fee.
Be savvy, but don’t forget to be fair and kind.

If you’re the kind of person who enjoys being a smart shopper and takes pleasure in hacking the process to get a better deal, we are absolutely happy to help you. Call us, and we will hook you up with the diamond and the jeweler without all the weirdness. We can coach you on how to do it in a respectful manner that doesn't cause unintended offense to whomever you choose to work with.

Takeaway for the jeweler - how can you best communicate your policies?

Don't get upset when people ask for this. They don't understand diamond margins. This is the first, and probably the last time they will do this. They may have been gifted this stone, and now they have to figure out how to use the family diamond in a new ring. OR, they are just trying to be wise in their shopping. In some cases they even think they're helping! They are like the sweet cat who brings you a dead mouse. They think you'll be stoked. Take a deep breath, and explain the issues in a kind manner. Help them figure out a solution that works for the both of you. Read: don't be the dragon lady at the jewelry store with policies that scare away paying customers who would have otherwise been willing to accommodate your policies.

70 Comments

Ryan

11/4/2015 10:28:08 am

This is a fun and interesting read as always, with good perspective from both sides of the table. Thanks for sharing!

Jared Holstein link

11/18/2015 12:25:25 pm

A much needed primer! Great job. Another benefit to designers/jewelers of embracing heirloom stones is the greater potential for goodwill, good vibes and a lasting customer relationship—you are being entrusted with a piece of a family’s past, a freighted talisman, with value far beyond the financial. You become a part of that stone’s story and that family’s future history. I’m not a retailer, but it seems a wise investment.

Kent Hailey

12/12/2017 12:41:08 pm

I have an 1/2 caret diamond that I inherited. I have the stone only. I would like to make it into an engagement ring with addition smaller diamonds around it to make it look larger. Is that possible? If so, who is a reputable company.

LITTLE BIRD

12/12/2017 12:44:21 pm

Hi Kent!

I love it when folks work with heirloom diamonds. Great idea! I have a few questions for you. Are you able to shoot me an email at danielle@littlebirdtoldyou.com?

Sabrina Guirado

1/16/2019 06:11:40 am

How do I get my diamonds into a new ring?

Frank Woodward link

6/5/2018 09:06:29 pm

I wouldn't think that you could reset that ring.Quite amazing achievement .

6/6/2018 09:15:27 am

Indeed Frank!!

Victoria Davis

8/20/2018 08:18:50 pm

I want to design a engagement ring and use diamonds that I inherited from my grandmother for my son to purpose to his girlfriend

8/20/2018 08:25:44 pm

Hi Victoria!

I would be thrilled to help you! Feel free to email me directly at danielle@littlebirdtoldyou.com

Ruth

9/11/2018 06:26:47 am

Hello, i have my grandmothers engagement ring that is way too small. I'd like my boyfriend to be able to use the diamond in a new setting on a new band, but am afraid that the process will damage the stone..... What might you suggest?

9/11/2018 04:02:34 pm

Hi Ruth! Glad you reached out. Diamonds are not indestructible, however they are SUPER hard. If it were another type of stone, you might have cause for concern. Resetting diamonds incredibly common. Step 1: start putting together an idea of what you want your new ring to look like. Step 2: find a reputable jeweler to run your ideas by. They will be able to explain how they can safely unset your stone.

I hope this helps!
Danielle

Claudine Middleton

10/24/2018 09:31:40 pm

I inherited my mother's wedding diamond. She had it out onto onto anothwr setting when she divorced and that is the setting I inherited. My boyfriend is thinking of using that diamond to create an engagement ring. Is that doable?

10/24/2018 10:23:19 pm

Hi Claudine! Happy to take a look! Please email me an image or two to danielle@littlebirdtoldyou.com

Shawn Guidry

11/11/2018 06:28:44 pm

Hello...My Boyfriend a gorgeous ring his Mommas best friend that recently passed away. I don't like the setting at all, but i love the stone. It is a Marquise and looks almost 2 1/2 or 3 Karats. We want it set on a band to use as my wedding ring. We really aren't sure if its a real diamond, but that doesn't matter to us, that is the stone we want to use because it is so sentimenal. Can it be put in a setting if it isn't real?

11/12/2018 09:52:54 pm

Hi Shawn!

I'm sorry for your loss and so happy you have something special to remember this important woman by.

You can likely reset the stone but you'll want to have a jeweler review it to tell you what kind of stone it is. That way you will know how to take care of it. If it is a diamond, that's the easiest long term care scenario as diamonds are very durable. If it is a CZ or white topaz or other type of stone, then you'll want to be very careful with it as it can easily scratch or even chip. Since you plan to wear it on your hand (the most wear and tear for jewelry and stones), it will be important to know what amount of care should be taken with it! I hope this helps :)

Danielle

Shaun

11/23/2018 08:54:16 am

Yes I have a gem that my grandmother gave me before she passed... my grandfather bought it for her 75yrs ago and I never met him... I’m looking to make it into an engagement ring and need some help... plz help

1/16/2019 08:38:35 am

Hi Shaun! Shoot me a direct email at danielle@littlebirdtoldyou.com with pictures/descriptions of the stones you have as well as any images of the type of ring you would like to make if you know at this point. If not, just send images of the stones :)

Ken

2/13/2019 09:07:29 pm

I have a stone 1.09ct diamond and I need someone to set the stone for me. Do you know of any reputable jewelers in Torrance, Ca that will do it for me while I watch?

2/14/2019 03:44:42 pm

Hi Ken - I don't know a specific jeweler that will work with the type of setting you are interested in, however I can say that few jewelers set a stone in front of you. Is the diamond lab certified? If so, it may be inscribed on the girdle with the cert # of the stone. You can always check that under a minimum of 20x while at the jeweler. Or you can measure the min and mx diameter of the stone and measure that to confirm once it set. Lastly, the inclusions in the stone act as a fingerprint of the diamond and are easy to identify. I hope this helps!

Erin

3/11/2019 07:13:38 pm

Hi! I would like to give my wedding ring to my son to use as an engagement ring when he is ready. What should I do now (if anything) to prepare for that and help him when the time comes? The ring store where my ex and I bought the ring is still in business, should I contact them to get the specs for the diamond?
Thank you!

3/12/2019 09:50:16 am

Hi Erin!

Lucky lucky! Yes, you are on track. It's a good idea to get the specs for the diamonds -the weight, measurements, approx color and clarity (if there isn't an actual lab cert that the diamond has). From there, he can choose to work with a variety of jewelers. He's welcome to take me on on a BIRD CALL when he's ready and I'll offer some tips.
http://www.littlebirdtoldyou.com/the-bird-call.html

Danielle

Troy Hollenbeck

4/6/2019 09:34:02 am

I have a diamond that my partner inherited and requested it be used for the engagement. I have the stone only. I would like to make it into an engagement ring with additional smaller diamonds around it to make it look larger. What are your recommendations?

4/7/2019 01:33:09 pm

Hi Troy! Happy to give you some advice. Please email me directly with the details of the stone, any images you have for inspiration as well as your location and ideal timeline. danielle@littlebirdtoldyou.com

Jennifer

6/3/2019 03:51:32 pm

Hello Little Birdie,
I inherited 2 diamond rings.
One is a single stone, the other is an old fashion cocktail ring with 2 stones and several tiny diamonds.
The larger diamonds in both rings are mine-cut.
I'd like to incorporate all 3 diamonds and small diamonds into one ring if possible.
I'm having trouble figuring out what type of setting will make these beauties "pop".
I also inherited my mom's white gold wedding band. I'd like to wear the new ring and mom's band together.
Thanks in Advance for your help.

6/4/2019 08:18:17 am

Hi Jennifer! So fun! Happy to offer some advice. Can you send me your location as well as images of your rings via email? danielle@littlebirdtoldyou.com

Nancy

7/9/2019 10:54:25 am

My boyfriend and I have been talking about marriage. I am aware that my boyfriend has one of his grandmother's rings and he has used this ring to propose to someone else. They broke up during the engagement. I don't want him to use the same ring for two reasons, bad juju and I have pudgy fingers (I had a size 9 ring that my aunt gave me that is right in my pinky). I believe he has loose heirloom diamonds as well. I don't know what the diamonds or ring looks like. I am clumsy and like simple designs since I don't normally wear a ring now. I'm not sure where to start looking for someone to help us. Do you have any advice? Thanks!

Katie

8/2/2019 09:20:38 pm

My engagement ring was a solitaire princess cut stone. I just inherited a ring from my late grandmother that I love so much. The middle stone however is fake. Is is possible take my diamond from my engagement ring and put it in my grandmothers setting? The fake stone and my diamond look to be about the same size.

8/3/2019 10:37:51 am

Hi Katie! Can you email me images of the stone and ring? Danielle@littlebirdtoldyou.com

Jolleyjenny

8/27/2019 06:42:04 pm

Hello LBTY!
I recently lost my center stone diamond. Out of my 4 prongs on my ring- only 1 is remaining and it fell out. I Was devastated and sad, but realized I needed to replace it. I called the jewelry store where My husband purchased the ring, but the price to replace the stone was $4000. I was willing to pay about $3000, but just can’t afford the extra $1000. I went online and saw a reputable jewelry site that sold a diamond that I needed. I purchased it, but now am not sure about how to ask my jewelry company about resetting my new stone. I called and asked do they reset stones from another retailer. Their response was “no.” I asked if I wanted to reset a stone that was handed down- they said “yes”. I just don’t know where to go if they are not willing to reset my new diamond. I’m also a little sensitive about this because I don’t know how 3 prongs can go missing- which made me Lose my diamond. I just need advice if you can help. Sorry for the rambling.

9/3/2019 12:03:33 pm

oh no, Jolleyjenny! I'm so sorry to hear about this. What you want to look for is a local independent jeweler/jewelry repair shop. I recommend hitting up Yelp. I would put together a short list and then call to see if they are able to do the following: "can you set my diamond in an old setting of mine and make sure it's totally safe??" You don't need to go into the story with them, your biggest concern should just be their ability to do the work and their level of customer service/ how easy it is to get info from them. Hope this helps!

Angela Waterford link

9/25/2019 04:31:40 pm

My grandmother gave me a diamond ring that has a loose stone, and I fear that I may not be able to wear it because it's so fragile. Thanks for informing me that some jewelry stores will make me sign a waiver if they decide to help me set the diamond back to its original place. I think I'll ask around to see if any store are willing to do this for me.

9/26/2019 04:37:14 pm

So glad this was helpful! Yes! Get a jeweler to take a look :)

Michelle F

10/7/2019 04:01:39 pm

I LOVED this article! It was really informing and easy to understand :)
I have a question for anyone willing to answer, it's really more a case of I need help...
So my husband bought me this beautiful moissanite solitaire ring. The stone is in great condition but I realized today that the ring itself broke where the welder put it together, and I need help trying to find a jeweler that will help me set the stone in a new ring. Any advice on what to say to the jeweler to help me? I wouldn't even know where to start...

10/8/2019 01:02:53 pm

Hi Michelle! Sounds like you need to find a local jewelry repair shop. I wish I could give you a more specific answer but I would recommend taking your search to Yelp so you can find someone great in your area. Hope this helps!

Kelsey C

10/21/2019 07:26:39 pm

Do you know anything about having a diamond made from human ashes set into a ring setting?

10/21/2019 07:42:34 pm

Hi Kelsey! I've heard it's possible but know nothing about it! I hope you find the answer somewhere! with care, Danielle

Ron Booker link

10/24/2019 11:54:13 am

It's interesting that you said that resetting an old gemstone can be challenging because you can lose the value of the stone if something happens during the setting. My mom told me that her mom gave her a precious stone she had for years. I'm going to look for a jewelry store that can help her with the resetting part.

10/24/2019 05:18:59 pm

So fabulous! Best of luck!

matthew Molloy

2/3/2020 06:58:00 pm

i was gifted an heirloom engagement ring that i used to propose to my fiance! She and I wish to get the stone reset (with the blessing of the family of course) to a new setting that fits her style better (and fits a bit better, as the resizing didn't quite get the size right). Do you know of any reputable jewelers where we might be able to do this without having to get custom work?

2/3/2020 07:53:25 pm

Fabulous, Matthew! Shoot me a note at danielle@littlebirdtoldyou.com and include what area you are located in as well as any info you have on your stone. I'll be happy to help if I can!

Patrick

2/10/2020 10:28:01 pm

Hi! My mother gave me her mother's engagement ring to propose to my girlfriend when the time is right. However, my girlfriend is allergic to yellow gold and I know that the ring needs to be resized. I am looking into having the diamonds reset in white gold and a little more modern and bigger ring. Any suggestions on where to start or even where to go?

Thank you!

2/10/2020 10:39:20 pm

Congrats, Patrick! So much fun to look forward to! Def go platinum instead of white gold if she has metal sensitivities! You're welcome to schedule a BIRD CALL here for further suggestions:
http://www.littlebirdtoldyou.com/the-bird-call.html

Martha link

2/11/2020 07:45:22 pm

Hello!
I've inherited several diamond rings, all solitaire, ranging in about .25 to .75 carrot size. I'd love to have the stones removed and have them placed together in one piece, whether it be a ring, pendant, etc. I have no idea where to start or whom to go to go start. Any suggestions?

2/11/2020 08:55:05 pm

Hi Martha! Shoot me at note directly! danielle@littlebirdtoldyou.com and include what area you are located in. I'll be happy to help if I can!

Bobby

2/17/2020 08:22:55 pm

I have a 1 carat diamond that I want to reset into a engagement ring and maybe design a wedding band too for my fiancé

2/17/2020 08:27:43 pm

Hi Bobby! Shoot me at note directly! danielle@littlebirdtoldyou.com and include what area you are located in. I'll be happy to help if I can!

Jennifer martin

4/12/2020 05:34:34 am

I want to have a pendent made from my diamonds I live in Michigan the Detroit area where can ggo to have done, and not get ripped off

4/13/2020 10:00:09 am

Hi Jennifer! Shoot me a direct email at danielle@littlebirdtoldyou.com and I'll be happy to point you in the right direction!

Deb

4/28/2020 02:28:34 pm

My son wants to give his girlfriend his grandmother’s diamond ring. It is iN a platinum setting with a yellow gold band. It is 70 years old and he loves the way it is set, but know she will not like the yellow gold. Is there a way to change the band to white gold or platinum without resetting the diamond? The diamond is in a high setting with 4small diamond around it, typical setting from the 1950’s. I see that dipping the band to change the color does not last and will wear off making it look cheap. What can he do?

Thank you!

4/29/2020 10:36:35 am

Hi Deb! Congrats to you and your son!

Ok, I wish my answer was different, but it's not recommended to dip a ring. The plating will wear off CONSTANTLY and it will basically never look "nice". Sadly, that's just the chemistry of it. Rings, especially, just don't keep their plating, especially white over yellow. The best thing to do is to have it remade in the metal color of choice. As an interim thing, you could have it plated just to see how she likes it in white before making the decision to invest in a new setting. I hope this is helpful!

Cass

5/29/2020 12:26:48 pm

Hi there! My dad passed away and my mother suggested i use the rings they used when they got married. I love the shape of the stone, but i dont like the style of the setting. Is there a way to make a new ring from the stones on the old rings? and if so, who is a credible jeweler? thank you!

6/1/2020 02:18:42 pm

Hi Cass! I received your email, so glad you reached out. Short answer is yes and I'm excited to learn more about your pieces, what you plan to make and how I can help :)

Laura Wing

6/21/2020 07:20:22 am

I found a 9mm square stone. It is probably a fake but so pretty. I want it set in sterling silver. I have no clue where to send it or if they would set a fake stone. I live out in the country and don't have a store close that I know of.

6/22/2020 10:56:23 am

Fun project, Laura! Best thing to do is to research a local designer or find someone you like on etsy or insta and reach out to see how you could have them set your stone! Hope this helps.

ophira link

6/28/2020 11:27:19 pm

Lovely, your article is fully filled with diamond education as well as knowledge. I will surely share it with customer to help them choose the best ring. just want an an another article on the shapes of diamonds because I have seen many of my customers gets confused here.please do notify me on my mail whenever you post on my preferred topic. lastly, I appreciate your efforts. keep going.

6/29/2020 05:51:16 pm

Hi Ophira! We have many blogs on shapes! Here's a good starting place :)
http://www.littlebirdtoldyou.com/blog/whats-the-difference-between-diamond-shape-and-diamond-cut

zevrat

7/16/2020 04:52:40 am

I’m looking for a diamond jewellery for my wife. Read this post its very informative. Keep it up buddy.I’m not too picky on price but I will want to see about getting a custom ring as I want it to be unique for my wife.

belinda chilwell link

7/25/2020 03:16:38 am

My partner brought me the diamond for our engagement, but not the ring....very adorable gesture as he said we would design this together..having a small issue with finding someone that could do this Could you please help in Recommending someone in the Gold Coast / Brisbane that would assist.

7/27/2020 09:13:20 am

Hi Belinda! Congrats! Without knowing your design preferences, it's tough to point you in the right direction. I recommend putting together some images and you're welcome to email me! danielle@littlebirdtoldyou.com

Jason

8/13/2020 10:49:54 pm

Hi,
Looking to upgrade my wife’s center diamond. We’re looking to go lab grown and was curious if any jeweler would reset the new diamond. Do you know if any jewelers in Northern California Bay Area would do this? Thank you!

8/14/2020 09:31:01 am

Hi Jason! I do have resources for you, yes. Email is best! danielle@littlebirdtoldyou.com :)

Picard

9/7/2020 08:10:37 am

I'm currently in the process of buying an engagement ring but the setting is from a local jewelry store. I got a cheaper deal on the diamond online. The store had set a diamond on the ring for me already but I didn't like it. I don't want to be rude asking them the set a diamond that's not from them. I'm not sure what to do.

9/7/2020 04:58:29 pm

This is a tough one! Feel free to email directly danielle@littlebirdtoldyou.com - might have some ideas.

Betsy

9/14/2020 09:26:29 am

My situation might be slightly different. My husband bought my ring without my shopping first. I love the diamond but I'd make a few adjustments to the setting. Is it possible to get a new setting made by a jeweler and have them reset the ring?

9/14/2020 11:28:45 am

Absolutely, Betsy!! Totally possible and pretty common, actually. Do you have an idea of a new setting you'd like? Feel free to send me an email with images and specs on your current ring as well as any inspo images of ring designs that resonate with you. Include what region you're located within too ;) danielle@littlebirdtoldyou.com

Florrie Manuel link

9/25/2020 03:38:15 pm

I have a sad situation my mom passed away she left me her wedding ring. I took it to a local jewelry store to have the main diamond reset. They look it over very carefully and put a value on it for 6,600. I said do we need to insure my ring they said no. We take care of that l ask again because this was seventy two years old. Answer was no again l did not sign no liability. They called me two weeks later and said my diamond was damaged and no good and that was how it was purchased. How can l believe them am at a loss and yet to hear back from them.

9/25/2020 03:50:55 pm

I am so so sorry, Florrie.

Ooof, when it comes to the diamond I have to say this is certainly a unique situation. Have you picked up the diamond or is it still there? Did they tell you exactly in what way the diamond was damaged? Have you had another jeweler take a look at it yet? Getting answers to these questions would be my next step. Depending on the stone, it is possible it was already damaged - I've seen that before. Unsetting a stone is less likely to cause damage than setting the stone is, so it's possible that when they went to unset it, they discovered the damage. Again, I've seen this happen but I've never seen a jeweler damage a diamond while unsetting, only while resetting. Depending on the shape of the stone, the type of damage and the specific location of the damage, it may be possible to recut the stone. This does happen from time to time with heirloom stones and certainly with antique stones that have been handed down many times. Again, I'm so sorry for the your loss and for what I'm sure feels like insult to injury. I hope this response helps get you on track!

9/25/2020 04:48:44 pm

Yes the diamond is still there. It’s platinum with four prongs around it and it has two diamonds on each side of that. They were supposed to contact me when they got it back from the person that was working on it but they have not called yet and the diamond is a little over a half a karat.I went in on 09/02/2020.

9/25/2020 05:03:06 pm

They said when they were removing it from the setting the corner crumbled and they said it was that way they can see the damage because of the prong. They said they would be able to show me how we stand make because the ring and the diamond itself is dirty and once you clear away the debris you would be able to see it was already damage I know nothing about diamonds so I want to make sure this is true. I had the ring looked at before we left Indiana and moved to Carolina with my parents in the diamond was fine in it I had it appraised there.Unless they’re telling me the truth and they couldn’t see the damage because of the prong. They are telling me that somethings were purchased back in the 40s

9/25/2020 08:14:24 pm

So hard to say but I do think it's possible that it wasn't evident when set. You mention a corner and that is where diamonds can be damaged but you didn't mention the exact shape. In short, I cannot give you a full opinion having not been actually involved but I can tell you that this type of thing is not unheard of and it's possible they did not damage the diamond but rather just discovered the damage. Either way, I'm sorry you're dealing with this and I wish you the very best of luck! Hopefully they can recut it!