Resetting your Heirloom Diamond - and - How to Buy a Ring Setting Without Buying a Diamond

Engagement Ring = Diamond + Ring Setting
Do you have a loose diamond? Do you need an engagement ring made for your heirloom diamond? Do you have a family diamond that you want reset in a new ring? Do you have a jeweler’s setting in mind for a diamond you already own? Or perhaps you want a particular stone that the jeweler can’t offer you…

Are you resetting a family diamond, redesigning an heirloom ring, or asking a jeweler to set a diamond that you found on your own? We often see a communication breakdown between shoppers and jewelers on the topic of loose settings and personal diamonds. Sometimes folks are surprised when a jeweler is hesitant or flat-out refuses to set a diamond that wasn’t purchased through them. It might seem counterintuitive for a jeweler to turn down work. Let’s clear things up. Some jewelers don't mind doing this at all! However, the reason jewelers would hesitate before resetting an heirloom diamond is different from why they would hesitate to set your sweet-internet-deal diamond. Here is some info and a few tips on the etiquette of making this request:

Let's start with the best case scenario:

You have a family stone or a handful of heirloom jewelry you want to work with to create something special and you approach a talented and caring custom engagement ring designer who is local to you! Don't get us wrong, we think reusing heirloom stones is THE BEST. (see our favorite heirloom ring-incarnations below)

​That being said....

Why would a jeweler hesitate before resetting an heirloom stone?

• It can be scary. There are liability risks for a jeweler to set a gemstone you already own, including loss, damage and heightened emotions...
• It causes snags in a jeweler’s general process. Unless you are hand delivering the stone to the jeweler, you are going to be shipping back and forth; they will have to send you a liability waiver. That can be scary for everyone involved.
• Un-setting your diamond or gem from a piece of jewelry is a lose/lose situation. It is often challenging for jeweler to unset a gemstone without injuring it. Plus, you have to consider the almost complete loss of value for the piece you are taking apart.
• It may pigeon-hole the jeweler into fitting a diamond into a setting that might not really accommodate it. This is especially true for antique diamonds or gems with an outline that isn’t perfectly round or square or even.
• Simply put, it is a lot of effort and they don't make a profit on it.

Though it's not always an ideal situation for them, there are jewelers who will happily perform this favor for you. It's considered acceptable to ask especially if you ask nicely. It's like asking your friend to drive you to the airport in traffic, twice. Yeah, you better be nice.

Why would a jeweler not want to set a new diamond you purchased elsewhere?

This situation can be a bit more charged for a jeweler. Almost all the other pains associated with heirloom apply here, but with the additional financial slap in the face to the jeweler.

• You just stole their predicted margin. The cost of the ring includes the assumption that they will get to also sell you the star of the show, a center gem. How they see it, you are trying to get a ring for the price of a loose setting.
• It comes across as rude. This is a piece of art and fine craftsmanship. You wouldn't go to Picasso and ask if you can have the painting for less if you provide the paint and canvas...  y’know, cuz you have a friend who's gonna give you a screamin deal elsewhere.

Takeaway for the engagement ring shopper - what can you do?

• It's ok to ask about an an actual heirloom diamond or gemstone that you've inherited or previously owned. Expect a little bit of hesitation and know that it's completely normal to sign a waver releasing the jeweler from liability for your stone.
• Don't ask a jeweler to set your diamond you bought online or from a wholesaler. If you do, careful not to come across as entitled and prepare to pay a setting fee.
• Be savvy, but don’t forget to be fair and kind.

If you’re the kind of person who enjoys being a smart shopper and takes pleasure in hacking the process to get a better deal, we are absolutely happy to help you. Call us, and we will hook you up with the diamond and the jeweler without all the weirdness. We can coach you on how to do it in a respectful manner that doesn't cause unintended offense to whomever you choose to work with.

Takeaway for the jeweler - how can you best communicate your policies?

Don't get upset when people ask for this. They don't understand diamond margins. This is the first, and probably the last time they will do this. They may have been gifted this stone, and now they have to figure out how to use the family diamond in a new ring. OR, they are just trying to be wise in their shopping. In some cases they even think they're helping! They are like the sweet cat who brings you a dead mouse. They think you'll be stoked. Take a deep breath, and explain the issues in a kind manner.  Help them figure out a solution that works for the both of you. Read: don't be the dragon lady at the jewelry store with policies that scare away paying customers who would have otherwise been willing to accommodate your policies. ​