Well, the holiday season is upon us once again! The holidays can be a stressful time to get engaged, yet somehow it's the most popular time of year to pop the question.  Why do so many couples get engaged between Thanksgiving and New Years'? We've heard various versions of this scenario from hundreds - HUNDREDS - of people. 

The holiday season presents the annual family check-in time. For many folks, it goes something like this:

You're attending another Thanksgiving event with your significant other. Family members ask the same questions about your life. How's your job? Would you consider it your career path, or is there something else you would like to do? Did you ever finish getting that real estate license? What is the current state of your health insurance? So, you've moved in together? That's nice....will we be receiving a Save the Date soon? You look across the room at your girlfriend / boyfriend / partner and you get that warm fuzzy feeling. 

You might not be shocked to hear that 100% of people who reach out to Little Bird are, in fact, planning to get engaged (winky face). Yikes! Well, now it's crunch time. Believe it or not, it can take 4-6 weeks to educate yourself in the field, find the right jeweler, put together the perfect ring and then have it made.  If you want to get engaged by New Year’s, you better find that perfect ring ASAP. The problem with this:  EVERYONE else is also looking for the perfect ring AND it's the busiest shopping season of the year. Stores hire uninformed holiday help, the lines at the cash registers are almost as big as the bottom line sales goals. It's the most difficult time to receive impeccable service and in the meantime all the coveted inventory is being snatched up. If you're in the market for a specific type of ring, such as a Canadian diamond engagement ring, an oval sapphire halo ring, or maybe a custom opal engagement ring, the least you can do is be prepared. 

We are offering our 30 minute Expert Engagement Ring Consultation to help get folks ready for what will be a huge purchasing decision. If future marriage has been on your mind as of late, as the leaves start to turn and the family events start stacking up on the calendar, contact us to schedule AND/OR refer a friend and you both get an early holiday present from Little Bird...check it out here.

An interview with Brent Rose, self described actor, burrito-eater, filmmaker and writer for Wired, Outside Magazine, Gizmodo, Deadspin, Men’s Journal and Men’s Health Magazine. 

Little Bird loves to hear from guys in the real world. Sometimes it can be hard for experts in a field to remember what the situation looks like to non-experts. We are constantly optimizing our services to be as awesome and helpful as possible. Brent Rose is a regular contributor for a variety of guy-tailored blogs, so he has a unique vantage point to see consumer trends in the man-universe. Brent is a rare gem in his ability to cut through pretense and ego, and answer questions with the kind of unfiltered honesty that would make most bros run for the hills. His insights were invaluable and really got us thinking...

Little Bird: So Brent, how would you start your engagement ring search? 

Brent: I have no idea. Like most guys I would probably start with the internet - because that is where you look for everything these days. I would Google “diamond ring” or “engagement ring”  or even search for “how to pick the right ring”.
I might look at places like Zales, the Diamond Center or Jared to try and get an idea of the baseline market.  If I did ask any friends, I would try to talk to guy friends that make the same sort of salary as I do and are already engaged or married. If you ask rich friends, you’re opening the door to soul-crushing despair. 

Little Bird: Good point. Within every group of friends some are reasonable about budget, and some just spend… unbelievable amounts. So how would you go about calculating your engagement ring budget? Do you think this is how most guys these days come up with a number?

Brent: I don’t know a lot of guys who can afford to spend 2 months salary. Which is hard to face because you are in love, but realistically, you can’t drop 8k on a ring. You have to pay rent. Guys may start with 2 months salary but they usually scale it down.

Little Bird: Yeah, the two months salary deal was from a really different era. It seems like life is just SO much more expensive today. As a guy, what are your top priorities when looking for a ring?

Brent: Well the first phase is usually the budget phase. Then comes the depression phase when you start seeing some of the diamonds that are out there. Closely followed by the panic and anorexia phase [maybe I can't afford food this month]. And then the realistic budgeting and financial planning phase. Next you’d probably go through her jewelry and look at her taste - does she like simple and low profile or BLAM? You are trying to find a design that matches her personality. For some girls a decadent ring might be totally wrong style-wise.

The problem then is that guys don’t know the search terms because most guys have never had to think about them. Even if they had a picture of a ring in their mind, they have no idea what to call the thing they are looking for. It would be great to be able to talk to her, but they don’t want to ruin the surprise. The vast expanse of options is overwhelming. 
And then there’s sizing. Even if she has other rings, you never know the right size for her ring finger because women generally don’t wear rings on that finger. You can try to be sneaky, but it almost never works. 

(Side Note: Brent is absolutely right about this. Being sneaky about determining a ring size almost never works. Stay tuned for the upcoming blog “Macgyvering her ring size.” with all sorts of 007-worthy ring sizing tricks that actually work.)

Little Bird: What about ethical origins of diamonds and metals? Is that important to you?

Brent: Most guys know to think about ethical origin - but they can’t tell how to actually avoid bad diamonds. Some of the industry terms get really confusing. 

Little Bird: You are absolutely right. The definition of “conflict free” the Kimberley Process is very different from what you and I would consider to be “ethical origin.” Luckily for me, our Little Bird Co-Founder, Danielle, is a super-expert on this subject, so I can just ask her. 

Little Bird: How much time do you think the average guy is willing to spend learning about diamond grading and the industry? 

Brent: It would be great if someone could explain diamonds in simple human terms. If I had to guess... hmm, very little. I mean some people go totally OCD, but most people are willing to go as far as whatever gets a ring that their girl will like. Most guys will try to do some preliminary research, but it gets overwhelming really fast. Someone once mentioned Etsy, but when you start searching around you realize how little you know and you start to doubt your own taste. 

Little Bird: You’re the expert on guy shopping, what do you think is another one of the nuanced purchases that guys make? How do they get help? What works? 

Brent: I guess the best comparison is a new car. For some people a ring can be just as much. There are a lot of variables when you are buying a car, but you can get a lot of objective information from the internet or magazines. That being said, you are buying a car for yourself and a ring is a gift so you can’t just pick whatever you would like to wear. This is a guessing game with a lot riding on it. 

There is this element of judgment with rings. You picture a bunch of girls squealing over a ring because you have seen it on every TV show and in movies. It seems so cliché, but then you see it over and over again in the real world! It shouldn’t matter at all but you worry that it is going to matter to her. You don’t want the ring to be an object of ridicule. There is a lot of stigma for cubic zirconia or other non-gems, so it can be a stressful calculation. You want to get her something that is worthy of her, and of your love.  

(Side Note: There is certainly a stigma around cubic zirconia because it is considered a badly done fake, HOWEVER some alternative gemstones - like sapphire - are awesome and should definitely be considered. Check out our post on 
How to Get a Celebrity Worthy Engagement Ring at a Fraction of the Cost on Ringspotters for more information on alternative gemstones.)

Little Bird: When guys are uncertain about any part of the engagement ring process, who do they go to for help or advice? Married buddies? Parents or relatives?  Her friends? Internet? Is this something that guys talk about amongst themselves? 

Brent: Maybe one of her friends that you trusted to keep a secret. Maybe. Ideally one of my own female friends that knows both of us. When you ask a friend you have to trust they would give you an honest response and not spare your feelings. Guys don’t know who to talk with to ask questions, in case something changes or someone gives it away...

Little Bird: Of your guy friends that are married, do you know what their ring shopping experience was like? Have they said anything that sticks in your mind?

Brent: Truth is, guys don’t talk in too much detail. Some have inherited rings, which is not an option for everyone. I know some couples shop together... but that kind of wrecks the surprise. Actually, I think guys don’t talk about this much at all... which is probably why there is so much confusion. Guys want to appear smart and in control and not scared. 
If you are worried about rent, you have no idea how you are going to pull this off. It is incredibly stressful. Buying a ring is such a major thing in life and it becomes representative and emblematic of the greater turmoil around asking someone to marry you.

Little Bird: I have to admit, I am a little surprised because I have thought of ring shopping as being so much more fun! 
Brent: No. Most guys don’t see this as fun. Guys that are worried about money are not having such a good time. 
Guys are really afraid they are getting ripped off. An expert in your corner would give you major peace of mind. You are about to drop onto one knee and you are already freaking out - this is one less thing to worry about. 

P.S.
Check out some of Brent’s remarkable and almost uncanny acting talent, or his Friday booze column for Gizmodo, Happy Hour, OR his pretty awesome twitter feed, all of which are hilarious and fascinating. 


P.P.S.
Guys: we want to hear from you too! If you have a totally different answer, or a totally similar answer, or a funny story about any of these issues, please get in touch with us. We are dedicated to making this process more fun and less stressful for you. 

-orignally posted November, 2013

Well that didn't go according to the plan...
Cue the sad love songs. Sometimes life does not happen the way we planned. If you or someone you know bought an engagement ring and things didn’t work out, Little Bird can offer some advice.



Option 1: Return
Before you do anything drastic, call the store where you bought the ring. Request a manager to review the specifics of your ring purchase. Some stores have one month return policies, some give you three months. Some stores will SAY that there is a one month policy, but if the ring hasn’t been worn they are more willing to negotiate. Be prepared, some stores charge a restocking fee of 10-20%. If the ring has been worn, some stores will still take it back, minus a refurbishing fee. It may seem like a lose/lose, but it is better than losing 50% if you try to resell it yourself.  If this isn’t an option, check our Option 2.

This is a little series of blogs where some of our favorite engagement ring designers tell us how they imagined and then created their own engagement rings. ​Here for our third entry in the already critically acclaimed series "My Engagement Ring Story" : Emily Chelsea Jewelry specializes in custom designed engagement rings and wedding bands. Meticulously designed and expertly crafted, Emily Chelsea Jewelry is first designed with precision and accuracy then finished by hand for a handcrafted look. Emily is the person we go to when we have a client who has a super custom vision. Think words like "low sitting toasty butterfly" - Emily, we know you know what this means. Help! Not only is she a sister ring whisperer but this woman walks the walk. Emily Chelsea Jewelry is a proud member of Ethical Metalsmiths and  is committed to social responsibility and equality. Her custom creations are made from 100% recycled precious metals or Fairmined Gold and ethically sourced diamonds and gemstones as often as possible AND is a Graduate Gemologist through the Gemological Institute of America (GIA). I mean. This gal. SO without further ado, check out what she made for herself!

What are the stats?
Pear shaped rose cut gray diamond in an 18k yellow gold bezel setting by April Higashi. I originally wanted an amorphous green sapphire and was convinced that he would have plenty of options to choose from. I gave him some specifics but told him to choose the stone. In the beginning of the search, they found a great candidate, but because I was quite naive about it, I said yes but more green  (thinking it would be out there). The search went on for over a year. At Christmas time, after telling all of my friends that surely, he would be proposing I finally broke down and asked him why he hadn’t. I thought maybe he would say they are putting the finishing touches on the ring  but he said they still hadn’t found the stone. I was shocked.

After being schooled by my boyfriend on why what I was looking for was actually a needle in a haystack, I finally began to understand. He came with me to Tucson that February and we picked out a pear shaped rose cut diamond together. I realized I had wanted a fresh start from the green sapphire debacle and we both loved this new diamond.

How did you come up with the concept?
I always knew I wanted a solitaire, something simple. I knew I wanted to have 2 wedding bands and was planning on getting creative with that so I left the engagement ring simple.

Did you work on it with your partner? How was that?
My poor, poor partner. I basically kept telling him: “What I want is out there and there are plenty of it (the center stone)! And I want you to pick it out, but make sure it is X,Y, Z… oh and this, this, and this…. I was actually really specific and probably his worst nightmare. He was afraid that he wouldn’t get exactly what I wanted so we ended up working on it together in the end.

Did you always know what you wanted to design?
Pretty much. I met April Higashi 5 years ago and after seeing her work, I knew I wanted a piece by her.

What’s your favorite detail or part of the ring?
Because it is translucent, the diamond looks different every day. Some days I can see deep into the ring and other days, I just notice the inclusions toward the surface. It has a little bit of iron oxide staining deep in the middle and I love when I catch a glimpse of that.

Did you go over budget?
No.

If your ring was worn by a mythical character (ehm ehm you), how would you describe that character? Does it have a special power?
Dark and stormy and full of mystery. Just like my diamond. Oh and can see into the future. :)

Is there advice you usually give clients that you didn’t take yourself? Or something you learned in the process that you now share with your clients?
I share my experience often since I had learned so much through the process.  I felt so silly that even I, a jewelry designer and gemologist, could send my boyfriend on a wild goose chase for a stone that may have only existed once. There are so many times that we see a gem in a piece of jewelry or on Pinterest and are convinced that we can have one identical to it. But gems are truly one of a kind. If you have your heart set on something, then something has to give- and it is usually your timeline or budget. If there is no wiggle room, then I encourage clients to be more open. Once we get a certain image out of our heads, it opens up so many possibilities with other truly beautiful stones. And that first green sapphire that I thought wasn’t green enough? My very wonderful partner managed to buy it as well and we made it into a right hand ring that I wear almost every day. And yes, it is so, so green. He occasionally asks if I wish it were my engagement ring, but I don’t. I love the ring he proposed to me with and I love that we chose the stone together.

So you've got the ring! Now what? Do you know the best way to get your engagement ring insured? This is a question I help LITTLE BIRD clients tackle often. The right insurance path can vary from person to person, but I always recommend  to my clients to have their ring insured. Picking a plan and an insurance company can be a head-scratcher. When in doubt, ask yourself: Is your engagement ring custom made? Got lots of pavé diamond accents? Did I select an antique engagement ring or use an heirloom diamond? Is my center stone a sapphire, ruby, emerald, moissanite, aquamarine or other? Am I pretty nervous about losing or causing damage to the ring? I recommend bulletproof insurance in these cases. Enter: Jewelers Mutual. Because my clients always have so many questions when it comes time to talking ring insurance, and because I am an engagement ring expert - not an insurance expert - I had a little conversation with my friends from Jewelers Mutual and asked them the 7 most popular questions I get from my clients. Hope this is helpful!

5. How long is an appraisal good for?
​
It’s in your best interest to get your jewelry appraised on a regular basis as jewelry prices (gold & diamonds) do fluctuate. The appraisal will provide you the best insight as to what your pieces are worth which should inform what you insure them for.

Since Jewelers Mutual understands the nuances of jewelry and the chances of our policyholders being underinsured, we have an annual Insurance Value Adjustment (IVA). This increases your policy limit annually by a small percentage and in turn increases your likelihood of being properly insured in case of a claim

6. What is something that you wish all newly engaged folks knew about jewelry insurance?

That it exists! Truly, the biggest hurdle we face is that consumers simply don’t know the category- much less our brand, exists. What I hear most often is “yeah, I think it’s on my Homeowners policy”. It isn’t until you begin to discuss policy details that you see eyes widen and palms get sweaty. I’m not here to induce fear, rather let people know that there’s options outside of a warranty and homeowners insurance. In a survey we did a few years back we found that 33% of those surveyed considered an engagement ring one of the “most expensive things they own”. 43% of them did not have the ring insured. It’s stunning the time and attention couples pay to selecting the ring, planning the proposal, taking the ring selfie, and everything that comes with it, but may not take an additional minute to consider what happens if it’s lost.

​7. You’ve been in business for a long time! How has your business changed over the past 100 years?
Jewelers Mutual started in 1913 by jewelers who wanted to help protect other jewelers. We’ve earned the trust of thousands of jewelers over the decade and with that trust came co-creation. They wanted us to offer the same peace of mind they got with their coverage to their consumers. So in 1953, we designed the consumer jewelry coverage we’re discussing today.

While trends and technologies come and go, jewelry buying will always be part of our cultural fabric. It’s a purchase that helps celebrate new love, achievement, birth, or even coming of age. We worked diligently to ensure that buying a Jewelers Mutual policy is as seamless as possible, be it in the eCommerce shopping cart, your neighborhood jewelry store, or in the comfort of your own home. While our gift may not be made of metal and stones, we feel the gift of peace of mind is just as valuable.  

So, have the legacy jewelers lost their luster? What kind of legacy should instrusty leaders be leaving to the next generation of jewelers? Here at LITTLE BIRD we are excited to see what 2018 holds for the jewelry industry. Change is always afoot! Read the rest of this fantastic article in AdAge: ​http://adage.com/article/cmo-strategy/shine-brighter-legacy-jewelers-lost-luster/311649/

What are the stats?
2.09ct Post Consumer Emerald Cut Center Stone Flanked by half carat baguette diamonds set in 18K Rose “Ali” Gold which I self alloyed.

How did you come up with the concept?
I started off creating a couple of rings that were more traditionally my style but none of them were just right. My team kept reminding me that this ring had to be exceptional and different from my other pieces. I honestly began playing around with fabrication and ended up with the final design after countless hours of filing and altering it until I was happy.

Did you work on it with your partner? How was that?
I actually did not. We created each others bands (which was awesome!) but I wanted to fabricate her entire ring while keeping it a surprise. I was lucky to have insider information from her best friend who took her ring shopping.

Did you always know what you wanted to design?
I had no idea...I really needed the process to dictate the final design.

What’s your favorite detail or part of the ring?
Setting the sidestones upside down and making the basket float were the two elements that really made the ring feel badass to me.

Did you go over budget?
I didn’t have a budget in mind so not really but I definitely went over what I thought I would make it for.

If your ring was worn by a mythical character, who would that character be? Does it have a special power?
Pegasus! Sparkly, brilliant, and capable of magically making your goals a reality. It’s special power is foresight... it predicts a pretty amazing future!

Is there advice you usually give clients that you didn’t take yourself?
If I told you I’d have to kill you...​

Wait. What? Me? Cue jumping up and down in my living room. I am beyond honored to have featured on the OkDork podcast by none other than Converse, AKA Rabbi Can't Lose, AKA Noah Kagan.  Big moment for me as I'm a huge fan of Noah Kagan's work and it was so exciting to listen Noah and his dear friend and VP of sales for the 8-figure business Sumo.com (AND recent LITTLE BIRD client), one Anton Sepetov, discuss successful sales techniques in episode #9. Spoiler alert: LITTLE BIRD came up in conversation. 

To listen to the whole podcast (really great content) head on over to iTunes, episode 9. Below you can read what Anton & Noah have to say about the LITTLE BIRD approach to working with new clients. *blush*

NOAH: What happened recently?  You said you had a "ring experience".

ANTON:  Yes, I'm going to propose very soon.  

NOAH:  This is going to come out afterwards.  Hopefully she says yes by now.

ANTON:  Alison, will you marry me if this is it?  Just listen to this podcast.

NOAH:  Oh my God, that's cool.  

ANTON:  I know what she wants.  I was like, man I've got to get this done.  This is like in a month.  I've been putting this off.  And so, went on Yelp, started searching, like, different jewelers and found this lady and she was like insanely well rated and I was like let me read these reviews.   People were like, "Danielle is amazing.  She knows everything about rings.  Like, I was so unsure and she helped me."  And there was, I don't know, there was like five stars it was like five hundred reviews.

NOAH:  How did you even think to search for a ring helper or a ring finder?

ANTON:  I didn't.  I just searched for jeweler and she was the first result.  So I was just trying to find like good places for me to go to to go through that process to have another Jack [previous not great ring sales experience}.  And I was like, oh, this is going to suck.  I've got to be sold to again.  What she does; she's a consultant for men or women like me trying to buy a ring.  And so on her website it says like, I'll do a free 30 to 45 minute call with you or I'll educate you about rings and all that sort of stuff.  And I thought, why not?  'Cause I had a good idea of like the ring size, carat size, all that sort of stuff and for her to just tell me where to go.  So I was like, okay, perfect.  Let me just try this; why not.  Filled out her form on her site.  The way she was emailing me and she was like, okay let's set up a time to chat.  It was a great email.  She was like, I'm super excited to work with you, etcetera.

NOAH:  For people doing "sales," I think the way that she framed it is like instead of me selling you something and come buy, the whole thing was like, I'm going to teach you something for free, you're going to get something out of it regardless if you give me money, is how she's framing it.  So let me educate you.

ANTON:  Exactly.  I never thought I was actually going to use her or anything.  I just thought, she's going to tell me the jeweler to go to and perfect; she's basically like my yelp, and I trust her.  She emailed me, and then this is kind of cool, she was specifically like okay, we're going to talk at 3 today, but for security purposes, because this is something confidential you're doing I don't want you to get caught, you call me.  This is my number.  I thought that was cool.  I felt like I was a secret agent.

NOAH:  That's interesting.  

ANTON:  I was like, yeah, I've got to call you.  

NOAH:  Her saying that probably encouraged you to follow through with the call.

ANTON:  I called right at three on the dot.  Immediately she's like, "Hey Anton."  And I was like, hey.  And she's super personable; was one of those people that you can like talk to and you just feel good, right?  And I think that's one of those things where like-and you talk about like sales and how to be good at sales.  You just have to talk to a person like a person is a person.  You're not doing a pitch.  If she did a pitch to me and was like, I'm going to pitch you on why to buy a diamond.

NOAH:  What would have been like the worst experience you could have imagined and then go through what she did?

ANTON:  And if she was just really trying to like sell me something I would have felt very strange if she didn't connect with me in any way.  That would have felt very strange.  I'd be like, well fuck this.  I’m just going to go online and find something.  

NOAH:  Or they just-she just is talking all the time.

ANTON:  Yeah, exactly.

NOAH:  Like, hey let me just tell you about all this stuff or like doesn't ask you anything about...

ANTON:  Oh, totally, yeah.  She made it like a diamond demo and she works for, I don't know, Diamonds Direct or something like that.  And I know she's going to get paid commission on the diamond.  I'd be like, no.  I don't want to do this.  

NOAH:  Okay, so what did she actually do?

ANTON:  And so she immediately is like super warm and welcoming.  She's like, you know, this is a big decision.  The first thing I want to do is I want to learn about you and about Alison and for you to tell me about, you know, you're relationship and then I'm going to really go into, you know, what is diamond, you know, what is in a ring.  What's really important, what you should look for?  And I really want to educate you and yeah, that's just what we're going to do is explain to you 30 to 45 minutes, is that good with you.  And I said yeah, that's perfect.  

NOAH:  So she committed you; she confirmed you.

ANTON:  Exactly.

NOAH:  Like, hey, here's the agenda for what we're talking about.

ANTON:  So yeah, there were no surprises.  I know what was going to happen which is good.  And so she starts and she starts asking open ended questions about me and about us.  She asked about the relationship then she asked about Alison herself and I was like, this is kind of weird.  I have to like open up and she was like, yeah I know this is kind of hard, but I really want to like know about you because this is a huge decision you're making and I really want you to feel right about this and that you're picking the right thing and I'm helping you pick the right thing.  

And so I said a couple of things about like what's important to us and what we looked at last time we went to get rings and why we didn't buy in Austin, why we wanted to buy in San Francisco.  And she was like, "So I can tell form what you're telling me it's important to you where you get this ring from."  She said that and I was like, wow, like, you're right.  That actually is really important to me.  And so she said there's numerous ways you can go about that.  Certain people just go to like a warehouse and but a diamond, it doesn't matter where they're getting it from.  I think for you it matters who is the jeweler, who is the one that made the ring, made the diamond.  So that made me feel really good.  So I opened up, she knows a good amount about me; she's asking questions, taking notes.  It was also making me feel really good about the relationship and what we're doing.  She's like that's amazing.  I can't believe your story.  That's so cool.  And I was just like, yeah, like, I'm doing this. This is awesome.  And I have already known a good amount.  If you're buying diamonds there is this thing called the four C's and I already knew that and so I went through like what we wanted.  We want like an oval shaped diamond, all this sort of stuff, the setting; and I know most of it.  

She's actually educating me even more.  She's like, what you're looking for is an oval and you're looking in like the, you know, 1.5-2 carat ring.  I love how I'm going to say this and people will know how much the ring's going to cost.  Isn't that ridiculous.

NOAH:  If I ever marry Luna just leave the price tag on it when she walks around.  It's like then you can see how expensive...

ANTON:  Don't take that off, don't take that off.  

NOAH:  In case we return it [OVERLAP]

ANTON:  Yeah, it's like, you may want to return it.  

NOAH:  During this process what do you think of the elements that made this a good sales experience?  You know in some part, it's almost not even a sale.  It's more of like...

ANTON:  Yeah.

NOAH:  It's more of like an education as a friend; be like hey here's my recommendations of things you need to do and you're like, yeah I have to do that.  What are the elements you think she did that made it that way?

ANTON:  Once we had rapport I was able to speak with her and I felt like I was talking to a friend which was really good.  Right, so I felt comfortable with her.  And then secondly, like I'm saying is that educational piece, right.  So she taught me even more about-she specifically said write these things down, right.  At that point I was like wow, she's an expert in her field, she knows everything about diamonds.  I really trust her.  

ANTON:  At this point this was already 45 minutes in.  I was like, can you just do this for me?  Like, why are we still on the phone?  I want to do this with you.  And so she said there was two options and one was like, I can go to the jeweler myself and then she gives the final okay on the ring-the diamond.  It's like 75 bucks.  Or she does everything for me.  She's like, I'll go to the store with you, which will be, you know, very reassuring for you and it would be cool for us to go together.  And I was like, yeah it would be awesome.  I don't want to go to the store by myself and have to buy like a whatever.

NOAH:  It's a huge purchase, yeah.  

ANTON:  Yeah.  Just sign me up.  Can we just do this?  Let's get started now.  And I was so excited.  It made me so excited about the whole process and what I was doing.  I was so excited to buy it; I still am now.  When she emails me I'm excited to get an email from her.  She emailed me this morning and she was like I've been working with the jewelers, I have something like a couple of options.  We're going to get on the phone today.  I was like, I can't wait to see what she put together.  

NOAH:  So it sounds like a few of the things was the rapport is really important.

ANTON:  Yup.

NOAH:  Another thing that they're underlying tone is that teaching you something you didn't know.  

ANTON:  Yeah, exactly.

NOAH:  Right?  Like, the expert part is that hey, you need to watch out for this.  And you're like, oh, I didn't even think about that.  

ANTON:  And the other thing too I think at the end is that she didn't come and like, try and hard close me and was like we've got to get started.  

ANTON:  Like, if we don't get started today then spots are going to be gone, etcetera.  I was super excited and it was funny, she didn't even name the price for like, the whole management service.  I was like, how much do I have to pay you?  She's like, oh I'm so sorry I didn't tell you.  So it's five hundred.  And I actually don't have to pay her until I pick out the final ring and I'm very happy with it.  

NOAH:  See, I love that type of pricing.  You're like look, until I'm happy then you don't have to get paid.  

ANTON:  Exactly, yeah.  She wasn't just like Jack who just like walked out the store and whatever.  

NOAH:  Yeah.

ANTON:  Hopefully they come back.  She specifically said, "Okay, perfect.  So the next time we're is on Monday so that's going to give me two days to do some research.  Don't talk with the jewelers.

NOAH:  Just setting the expectations and then following through with it.   We've done this for a lot of years with Sumo is that when you talk to someone and you want to sell them something you put it in the calendar.  One of my favorite lines is "Hey, I'm open next Wednesday at three.  Does that work for you?"

ANTON:  Exactly.  Name a time.  Right, she named a day and time for me and I was like yeah, that works great.  Let's do it.  

NOAH:  So let's come back to full circle with the Appsumo story.  You've built a sales team, you're growing your sales team; for everyone out there today, what it one thing that they can do for themselves to be better at sales in some capacity?   

NOAH:  Whether they recognize that they're a sales person or even if they don't.

ANTON:  Whenever I see anybody doing sales, and we work in spaces here in San Francisco around a bunch of people doing sales and I'm around it all the time.  And I want to sit so many of them down, and I do give some of them feedback, is to make it natural.  So going back to Danielle, that I was talking to about the diamond, right, it felt so good and natural.  And I'm still so excited about the process, right.  Don't treat sales as like, I've got to do a product demo.  I've got to pitch something.  When you do that to me you ultimately hurt yourself so much because it's going to feel unnatural.  It's going to feel like a push.  Maybe you'll close some people, but you're not going to be super successful.  You have to make it natural, like we're sitting down or like you're sitting down with a friend and you're telling them about, you know, your product or whatever it is that you're trying to sell and you're trying to get them signed up.  

Interview goes on from here. Don't miss the audio version here: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/id1187402810?mt=2&ls=1#

We are introducing a new series to the LITTLE BIRD blog. Enter: "My Engagement Ring Story" where some of our favorite engagement ring designers tell us how they imagined and then created their own engagement rings. Should be illuminating for those who are looking to create their own ideal engagement ring. Our first story comes from Brittany Stadtmiller about her engagement to Bobby. You guys. Brittany is the funniest. She runs the most attractive AND hilarious jewelry Instagram account I know of: @gemsteady. Not only did their engagement lead to MARRIAGE, but it also created the alternative fine jewelry company I've come love to hard: GEM STEADY. Enjoy!

Tell us the stats!
I actually never had an engagement ring. My husband and I got married on a whim so it was straight to the wedding band which was a super fat sterling silver cigar band.

How did you come up with the concept?
We had just begun our adventure to start a jewelry business and I thought the idea of just one really sexy wide band would be timeless (and fairly simple to create for freshly self taught jeweler). Our story is probably best saved for another day/blog post, but I knew I never wanted to be engaged or ‘have a fiance’ so one big band is all I needed to seal the deal.

Did you work on it with your partner? How was that experience?
Our wedding bands were some of the first rings we ever created (my husband is the maker) and marks the beginning of both our personal and business life together. It is definitely a pretty straight forward design, but we did work together on figuring out the perfect width and sizing.

Did you always know what you wanted to design?
I had no idea. We literally decided to get married after only a matter of a few days spent together so I had never really even thought about what my ring would look like. It was spontaneous to say the least.

What’s your favorite detail or part of the ring?
My favorite part of the ring is the fact that it was one of the very first rings my husband ever made. He had never dabbled in jewelry before, so you can see the seams and imperfections of where the metal connects. I guess that is a pretty good metaphor for our relationship too :)

Did you go over budget?
Not even close.

If your ring was worn by a mythical character, who would that character be? Does it have a special power?
A super powerful sorceress. It would definitely absorb and emit healing powers and have the capability to manifest pretty much anything I ever wanted and deflect all bullshit.

Is there advice you usually give clients that you didn’t take yourself?
I always tell my clients that they should make a decision based on what makes them feel good even if that means getting something made by someone other than me. There is no right or wrong way to wear your jewels. They should go for something that will feel timeless to them.

Do you need an engagement ring? Well, do you? Must you have a ring to call yourself committed? Is there a right way to get engaged? I've been an expert for a decade, but when I went through it myself, man oh man, did I learn a lot about love, commitment and the meaning of rituals. So after years of hearing your stories, on my one year wedding anniversary (today is my anniversary) I'm sharing my engagement story! Spoiler alert: commitment is what you make of it.  OK, I'll just get right down to it then...

1. many many dates in San Francisco using online sites (ehm ehm OkCupid) 
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2. An evening in with a bottle of red wine and my good friends ADVANCED FILTERS. People, this is the only way. You have to manifest your fate. I even paid the extra $10 to unlock the "A-List" search filters (some of which were ridiculous):

• Height: 6'2"-6'4"
• Body Type: A little extra (LUMBERJACKS. Nuff said.)
• Ethnicity: No preference
• Religion: Jewish (what, I've always wanted to win over a Jewish mother...)
• Religion's level of importance: Doesn't matter (can't because I'm not actually Jewish)
• Sign: Aquarius (and here's where the bottle of red wine comes in...)
• Single: Yes (come on)
• Monogamous: Yes (insert sassy comment about mocking the polyamorous - or maybe I'm just insecure. Don't care. Monogamy. Thx.)
• Looking for: Long-term (look I was 29 at the time, let's be real)
• Smokes/Drinks/Drugs: Sometimes (again, let's be real)
• Education: Some college (your Stanford MBA doesn't really impress me)
• Kids: Maybe
• Pets: Sure
• Keywords in profile: "science"
  
  

3. I sorted for the person with whom I had the highest match percentage and BADA-BING-BADA-BOOM!!!  I found a lovely young man with the handle "makin_science" who was dressed in drag with 7 other friends in his main profile pic. I knew I had found my partner in life.